"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." -- Benjamin Franklin
This website is intended to educate women on domestic violence and the traumatization it can cause without the victim even realizing that they are currently being traumatized. You may not realize until years later that the reason for your constant, severe emotional distress -- even after you left -- was the abuse that you suffered.
I NEVER KNEW THIS COULD HAPPEN TO ME BECAUSE NO ONE TOLD ME.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is an often-debilitating condition that affects millions. PTSD is your brain's reaction to a traumatic experience. You can end up with PTSD through even ONE traumatizing event... let alone a relationship's worth of traumatic events. The level of trauma you experience is worse the closer you are to the perpetrator. It is also worse the longer you are exposed to consistent or repeated trauma. So GET OUT NOW!!
Are You In An Abusive Relationship?
Ask Yourself…
- Are you afraid of him?
- Do you have to be careful what you say or do with him?
- Do you have to “walk on eggshells” for fear of angering him?
- Does it seem like you can’t do anything right?
- Does it seem like he’s unhappy with you most of the time?
- Does he react very badly if embarrassed or startled?
- Does he have to know where you are and/or what you’re doing at all times?
- Does he joke about your shortcomings?
- Do you feel as if you’d be lost without him?
- Is he very possessive/jealous?
- Does he have to control everything and everyone around him?
- Do you have to “do what you’re told” to do?
- Does he belittle your appearance, your intellect, your capabilities or your family/friends?
- Does he have control over where you go and what you do?
- Has he ever physically hurt you in ANY way? (pinching, biting, slapping, rapping knuckles on your head, poking your ribs, pulling your hair, holding you down, etc.)
- Does he break things or "attack" inanimate objects (such as punching walls, breaking or throwing things, etcetera)?
If you said yes to ANY of these questions, you are very likely in an abusive relationship. NONE of these things are present in a healthy relationship.
If he does any of these things, it is NOT because of YOU. Every person controls their own actions. No matter WHAT he tells you, he CAN control his own actions, and he IS responsible for them. What he is doing is WRONG.
The first thing you need to know: HE WILL NOT CHANGE, NO MATTER WHAT.
I'LL BE FINE.
Many women assume that the damage that is inflicted during the individual instances of abuse -- such as stress, tears, bruises, or worse -- is the only type of damage that will occur. What they don't know is that enduring abuse is TRAUMATIZING to the brain.
Many women assume that they'll be fine the instant they leave the abusive relationship. After all, if they're not being abused anymore, the misery is over, right? What they've never been told is that the traumatization of the brain has left marks and caused damages that could affect them for the rest of their lives.
THE DEBILITATING EFFECTS OF PTSD CAN INCLUDE:
- Nightmares
- Flashbacks
- Emotional Detachment
- Suicidal Tendencies
- Insomnia
- Situational Avoidance and Aversion
- Startled Response
- Hypervigilance
- Panic Attacks
- Flash Rage
- Crying Uncontrollably
- Fight or Flight Reaction
- Violent Reactions to Minimal Stimulus
- Inexplicable Severe Emotional Outbursts
These effects, and worse, can occur on a daily basis and without warning, making it nearly impossible to interact socially, have a relationship, keep a job, or even to do simple every day tasks.
Don't underestimate the damage that domestic violence can cause, even after you're away from the abusive situation.
RUN YOUR MOUTH ABOUT IT!
Those of us who have experienced domestic violence can depower our abusers and empower ourselves -- AND OTHER WOMEN -- by telling our stories and bringing the secrets that we've hidden for so long into the light. Telling your story is not only a professionally recommended method of therapy, but it is IMPORTANT to explain to potential victims what abuse looks like, and ESSENTIAL to use our experiences to WARN OTHERS about abusive relationships and the potential rammifications of staying in one.
IF YOU'VE BEEN A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, PLEASE SHARE YOUR STORY WITH US. YOU CAN SUBMIT ANONYMOUSLY AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO NAME NAMES. PLEASE HELP US WARN OTHERS ABOUT THIS VERY SERIOUS AND DEVESTATING EPIDEMIC. DON'T KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
DON'T LET HIM TELL YOU WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. GO AHEAD. RUN YOUR MOUTH ABOUT IT.
If you would like to submit a story or contribute to this site, please contact us at: Bessi@RunYourMouthAboutIt.com